My Healing Journey

Wow is all I can say at this point.  Amazing what you can find online.  Lots of great info on meeting our emotional needs, unmet emotional needs and even why emotionals needs are important.  Somehow all of this seems to touch on abuse, neglect and that childhood matters, so I will include this somewhere along my journey.

Well, it looks like my new therapist will be ”Dr Internet”.  This is the closest to therapy I can do at this time.  Some might think “Dr. Internet” would be “cold” and impersonable, but I find ”the idea” rather charming.  Silence can be golden.      Anyway, I find this much more comfortable than sitting in a doctor’s office.  No traffic jams.  No parking problems.  No scheduled appointments for 45 minutes once a week. 

I can work on my journey anytime I want and as long as I want at any given time.  This puts me in “control”.  I don’t know if “control” falls anywhere under emotional needs.  Will have to look that one up.  It doesn’t matter if it is an emotional need or not.  What it means to me is I am in control of my healing journey and to me, that is what counts.

What I’ve been reading so far pretty much makes it clear that emotional needs are extremely important.  And unmet emotional needs  can cause a lot of “havoc” in one’s life.  This is a topic not to be skimmed over and taken for granted.  This emotional needs stuff is important.  Am wondering if unmet emotional needs can be the “foundation” of many mental health issues.  Can’t comment a lot right now because I have a lot of reading to do.

Even tho I have just discovered the importance of emotional needs, I for whatever reason am resisting.  Maybe because all my life feelings and needs were thought to be selfish, never learning these needs are part of a person’s well-being.  Maybe the resistance is due to the “mirroring”  back to me what I lack in emotional well-being which means I probably have some problems.  Ok, I know I’ve have problems, but this might be more serious than I thought.

I have so much to learn.

I’m kind of scared, yet excited because  I don’t know what is around the corner.  But then, if I don’t look, I will never know.  And for now I am willing to look.  First, before I do any peeking around, I’ve decided to make a plan.   My goal is to stick to this plan.  This will help me stay on track and focused. 

 Already  I am feeling scrambled and I haven’t even outlined a plan yet.  This is going to be interesting for sure.   Hope it doesn’t take me a year to outline a plan.  But then I sort of feel silly.  This whole idea sounded so easy.  Why am I making it so hard?  What am I so afraid of?   What do I need healing from? 

Life happens!  Some good things and some not so good things.  Everyone experiences sorrow in their lives. Some have moved on and become productive.  Some haven’t.

So what is the key?  Is it resilience?   Maybe some have somehow learned how to deal with the  difficult times that has plagued their lives.  Maybe they never faced their tribulations head-on, like me?  Do we need to face it head-on?  Maybe we do?

But then, what will it feel like, all this healing stuff.  Will I feel different?  I don’t even know how I’d feel or what to expect.  Maybe the key is that “I will feel” and feeling is better than not feeling, so they say.

So, before I talk myself out of this journey of healing, I need to get back on track. No need to back out now.  And if I did back out I’d only be hurting myself.  So why not just give it a try.  I can always stop when I need to.  Stop thinking too much!  Go with the flow and see what happens. 

OK, so I have decided to focus on two areas that I need to work on. The first one will be, learning to meet my needs and the second will be self-worth.  This should keep me busy for awhile.  Not sure how to begin all of this.  Tons of info online that I am sure will be helpful.  So for now, I will be doing online searches for self-worth and meeting one’s needs.  And my next entry will be either self-worth or learning to meet my needs.

           

Pen in hand.  Beads of sweat on my brow.  Pain and sorrow drifting through my mind.  Hey! Stop!  This is not what this will be about.  This is not about pain and heartache.  It is about healing.  Healing from yesterday’s wounds.  Healing from todays wounds.  I assume there may be some tears along the way.  But then tears can be healing.  Am sure there may be bumps along this road, maybe even deep holes, yet I am on my way.  On my way to “self discovery” and “healing”.  On a positive note, self discovery will be interesting.  And all of this “discovery” will in the long run contribute to a healthier  way of living.  This I do pray is what this journey will entail.  A better tomorrow, maybe even a better today!